Why we need more good listeners in our lives?

Photo by Cleyder Duque from Pexels

 

“People don’t always need advice. Sometimes all they really need is a hand to hold, an ear to listen, and a heart to understand them.”

                                                                                              - unknown

 

Ever felt lonely despite surrounded by a tone of people. I can make sure you have because that’s how we humans have adapted ourselves from the beginning of our civilization struggling our entire life searching for people who are really interested in something we have to say without making a judgement.

Sometimes we make us believe that we have a problem just for having a desire to be heard.

But that’s not the truth because every human being on this entire planet is a unique individual with millions of unique thoughts which just flows tirelessly through their brains. And the main purpose of these thoughts which tend to be a major part of our feelings is to get recognition and make people establish a connection with each other in the most human way possible.

So, what happens when we cannot find someone who can really listen to our feelings?

There are a few tiny things that we can notice in our daily activities which plays a major role in shaping the real us as a person.

When I experience this kind of situation, I personally get the feeling of the following types: -

1.    Loneliness – this might be the most common feeling anyone can have and had definitely experienced while going through a certain situation in life. because as human being we definitely have certain expectations from another human being when it comes to making an understanding with each other. when that doesn’t happen, we tend to lose faith in ourselves and ultimately put ourselves aside from the crowd because of the fear that nobody is going to appreciate our presence.

2.  Anxiety – when no one listens to us we tend to believe that we are not good enough to talk with people of such class as we feel less in front of them just because they are not interested in what we have to say. So ultimately, we deprecate our confidence which makes us hesitate while doing something or saying something which results in anxiety.

3.  Depression – one of the most common ailments faced by almost every human on this planet is depression and the reason for this can be anything which means anything in our daily lives can result in developing the symptoms of depression. But the chances of getting it is very high when we think we are left alone and nobody likes our company. By this, we create a feeling of self-doubt within ourselves which results in deprecating our confidence and self-esteem.

4.  Lowself-esteem- just imagine a situation where everyone around you doesn’t want to listen to anything you have to say. They just want to talk about their lives their problems and everything they think is important or amusing in their lives. What will it feel like when they make you realize that your opinion doesn’t matter at all. Yes, anybody with a fragile feeling of a human will definitely feel hurt and useless, which in most cases results in lowering our self-esteem! Where we question our existence every time, we feel hurt or alone.

 

Who or what are good listeners?

Anyone with an ability to listen and understand someone’s perspective of what he or she wants to express before uttering a single word is a good listener.

And believe me, you are very lucky if you are surrounded by such gifted people because in a world full of people who are self-centred with their own feelings, merely thinking about anyone else, you have got someone who can listen to your story with their whole heart making you feel special.

You might have noticed this why conversations with people who are very good at listening is always outstanding and precious.

 

Why we need good listeners?

I think you have got your answer but I will still highlight certain points which will help you in finding people with great listening skills so you can surround yourself with positivity and self-improving energy.

1.    To make us understand our own self – if we have no one with whom we can talk our heart out then how we truly going to find out how we feel about something. It will be like a bird in a cage who desperately wants to fly but can’t. The same thing applies to us as we have a tendency to suppress our feelings as much as possible just to please others.

2.  Self-improvement – if you don’t understand yourself first then how you are possibly going to influence others with your thoughts. That’s why it’s important to know your strengths and weaknesses first and that’s only possible when you have someone to make you realize who you really are and how you feel about different things.

3.  Fighting depression- you might have noticed that people who have very few people to talk to are more prone to fall into depression than people who are surrounded by people with healthy talking habits. And also, during the therapy sessions of depression, the most common method used by proctors is 'talking' with their patients as that’s the most efficient way to let someone clear out his feelings and thoughts that he might be suppressing for god knows how many years. Once someone let out how they feel it’s definitely going to clear their brain and live a healthy life.

4.  To maintain the gap between humans and animals -imagine a world where no one wants to talk to anyone because no one is interested in knowing others, solely caring only about themselves. What will happen, it’s obvious humans will stop talking suppressing their entire human feelings every single second which will surely turn us into animals or god knows even worse.

 

How to be a good listener?

Although there are certain ways to train your mind to be a great listener but I will suggest you follow the basic instincts of human being because following a certain set of rules will take a particular amount of energy and time that will lead you to exhaustion and ultimately to the beginning from where you started if not done with full consciousness.

So, stick to the basics, involve only with people that match your interest and vibes according to your wish.

Involving with unnecessary people will naturally lead you to an opposite direction resulting in depression, anxiety, headache, low self-esteem etc. because they will not give you the importance or value you genuinely deserve.

The art of being a good listener comes naturally to a person, just make sure you are kind enough to the world and continuously want people to make the world a better place by redefining the definition of humanity which should be our ultimate goal in life.

The conclusion of this article is we humans are in this world to make it a better place not worse and that’s only possible when we start listening to others wholeheartedly before taking an action. You must have heard the phrase:

“Before you act, listen.
Before you react, think.
Before you spend, earn.
Before you criticize, wait.
Before you pray, forgive.
Before you quit, try.”

― William Arthur Ward